‘Things’ are about to get ‘personal’ and here’s the truth:
Every dance style has flaws, the sooner you realise this the better.
This is normally a blog about a dancer (in training) writing formally about her personal dancing experiences.
THIS is a BIG old RANT.
It has taken me two months and ten days to write again, and it’s not even about dance. This post is about the dancers and commanders of the dance world. I am here to warn the 2 people who read this blog about the misleading world of contemporary dance.
I feel naive and frustrated.
Growing up, I knew that the apparently cut-throat ballerina lifestyle wasn’t for me but I enjoyed dancing and that’s what I’ve always wanted to do so I continued. I started jazz and tap classes, again, realising quickly that ‘nice’ little girls who were trying their best didn’t get big and ‘special’ offers (sounds like a meal-deal from Tesco). It was the girl who could do the splits- down to either genetics or pushy parents. It was the boy who could be stomach-wrenchingly ‘masculine’ while dancing ‘girly’ steps in front of his Dad. It was everyone but me and I decided, yet again, that it just wasn’t for me.
So, Imii, at fifteen years-old, started contemporary dance technique classes. Finally. A weird, inclusive, open-minded, interesting and strong style to which I loved and enjoyed every challenging second of. And mostly, I still do.
I met more contemporary dancers, I engaged more with adult dancers, and came to the conclusion that I had been too quick to positively judge this style’s social sphere. Considering I had only met a handful of adult contemporary dancers, I wasn’t to know that this was the least objective idea I had ever come to. Contemporary has just as much to judge about as any other style of dance.
With all this hate circulating in the dance sphere, I asked other ‘performers’ if they feel the same about their culture. The consensus was that every performance career will judge you, but some people are just easier to pick on than others.
Here comes the silver lining!!
Honestly, after saying all of that, never doubt yourself. Because if, like me, you feel like you have been deceived, please carry on. The nice people are there just look closer. I have doubted myself so many times but each time I stumbled upon a reason to carry on and find a new spirit. People who make you feel as if you’re not good enough are people who fuel your doubt. If you have ever been proud of what you’re doing, if you have ever been cheered on, if you have ever been given praise by a role-model then you ARE good enough.
You will only become better by blocking out those who defy and those who make you feel worthless. Rise up and be strong. There is strength where there is pride.